Pas d'amour
by Thieves Like Us
Summary: All sex no love makes Red X the most bored of them all. Raven/Redx
1. Billy Liar

**Pas d'amour**

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_Disclaimer: So well, I don't anything and at some point even Red X alter ego's character isn't really mine. He's sort of a suave and more likeable version of Phillip Carey from Of Human Bondage in a totally cooler way. Oh and I don't own Billy Liar, the book/movie/song._

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(X's POV)

Three things that would always be changing in my life: girls, friends, and how much money was in my bank account.

I guess maybe I should state who I am first. My name is Pete Claude Augé and I'm 19 years old. I'm a college student majoring in nothing. I come from a family of French nothings. Oh, and I'm really talentless.

Seriously, you have the right to be disappointed. I'm not the young star who has everything. I don't own a bunch of shiny imported cars. I don't have a million acre house (in fact, being the poor college student without a background of brilliant French relatives, I rent a mildly okay apartment). My clothes aren't of the latest perfectly tailored Italian breed. I sort of just own American crap. Yippee. I'm 100 percent American. Capitalism runs through my veins.

Really the only imported thing I've been able to "own" for a night's worth at least, are some the more ethnic girls I've been able to date. They're pretty expensive to maintain but I'm more into quantity over quality.

Hey, just because you own a Porsche doesn't mean all the girls will come after you. Some are actually not shallow. Too bad.

Ah anyway, wealth buys you morals too and poverty makes you realize them. If you're in the middle you have to go find them yourself. Worst game of hide and seek I've ever played. Oh well. I'm blessed with a conscience that only talks to me after I need it.

Also, everyone who knows me knows that I get tired of things (and people) quickly.

I guess that's why I became a thief. I just got tired of paying for what I needed. How boring. That's why the old master of the universe sanctified humble Jump City with Red X. He wasn't too into the idea of me sort of ruining ten billion other innocent lives with my indifference.

So I got to ruin the Teen Titan's lives instead.

Powers are the same as Porsches. They look pretty sweet but it all depends on how you reap their benefits.

I mean look at Robin the Boy Wonder. Technically he has no powers but observe the crap his fighting "skills" obtain. Millions of pretty airheaded fan girls ready to pluck his feathers. Specifically a red-headed one.

Anyway he pretends not to realize that this aura he gives out is…appealing to innocent little girls, but I know my predecessor is flaunting the hero image he's built. He loves that attention. Annoying little twit.

I hope he loses blood circulation to his dick.

Ugh, but speaking of Titans, let's get to my favorite one. RAAAVEN.

Eyes filled with sexy plans; cloak filled with even sexier intentions.

By the way, right now I do have a girlfriend. Actually if we were in the 20s or something, the appropriate title would be mistress. So everything I'm gonna say is total betrayal and I'm a jackass.

I digress again, but I'm always a pretty bad boyfriend, I think. I mean, if I was a girl, I wouldn't want to be fucked by a guy who got over me halfway through the deed. His hands already twitching at the thought of being in someone else's pants.

Like right now.

Out of all the Titans I could do, I'd do Raven. She's pretty hot you know.

I mean as great as diversity is, who'd you rather have in your bed? An alien princess from a naïve planet or a demoness that's at least _half _human. Plus, I love girls who can tell me to fuck off in the least possible syllables.

Demons are sort of like sirens too and the last I time I counted my list of fetishes, sirens are pretty much on the top.

Oh, but I'm not your normal shallow guy. I look for personality too when the ol' quality over quantity thing is revisited in my conscience.

Raven could tolerate me and my habits. I know that. I've met other girls who have that whole 'I don't care' thing going on but none of them can really hold on to it after going through a couple of guys like me even if we're still one in a billion.

I think Raven though, with all of that caged anger and unprocessed emotion, would be able to carry that indifference beginning to end. No matter how much that demonic anger and jealously wanted to be let out, she'd control it. My little demon spawn wouldn't give me the satisfaction of knowing she cared about my feelings.

The whole relationship would be amazing. I could do whatever I want and she could too. Everyone with a conscience, rich and poor, would of course be a bunch of frowning whiny-ass faces. Society wouldn't approve of such an uncharacteristic couple.

Then again, did Billy Liar care when he got engaged to two girls and then had a pretty zealous love life with Julie Christie? Uh no, and look at all the BAFTAs (1) it got him.

I'm not comparing myself to a movie character or anything though cuz I pride myself in the knowledge I have being able to understand everyone. But the truth is, I am that young bored clerk who really can't quench his desire to charm the whole fucking world.

It's really hard to pick a girl and stick with her. Almost like trying one drug and quitting the rest. Life is made to experiment your heart out. Then again, perhaps it's my own fault and I got tired of making out with the same face twice.

The same goes for my friends. A lot of them aren't assholes like me, but you can tell they admire that player thing I got going on. The thing with friendship is that whole point is to impress the other. When you achieve it it's pretty much written on their faces. I'm even a player when it comes to my friends. Except it's not an act, it's my own disease. Everyone just gets boring.

The eyes I would praise as pools of midnight sky would be dull, old, and rustic the next day. God, I thought I was in love once too. The thing is, is that mushy feeling disappeared every time she was actually near me. She looked better, felt better, tasted better when she was miles away. I doubt that's love.

Or maybe it is and I'm not capable of appreciation. Either way, I cheated on her and dumped her _first. _It was a win-win situation. Plus, I could tell when the time came she's turn me into a possession which does not sit well with me.

The only reason I have hope for Raven is because all those paragraphed feelings are even better when she's near me.

Like her face is even more magical in reality compared to the face engraved in my head. I noticed that a lot when we were hopping up and down on crates in some desolate warehouse.

That goes back to the dilemma at hand.

As of right this minute I am in hand to hand battle with the always lovely Robin. That little prayer I had for him to lose blood circulation isn't exactly working. My favorite twat is experiencing nothing I want him too and all I can experience is aching irritation. Thanks God.

"Give the righteous hope and the sinner's weary little tears. Since when did that happen…" I muttered.

"Ouch." Maybe Robio heard that little tidbit of info because he sure swung me one.

"Where are the scriptures, X?" he said with steel determination.

"Aw that hurts kid. It's not nice to accuse honorable people." That got him mad. I hope he gives me a monologue.

"Coming from you, it seems pretty okay to me!" he cried as he charged me with one of his flimsy little bird-a-rangs. I quickly flipped over it and the toy shot straight into a glass wall.

"Well, there goes precious tax money." I aimed a sticky X at Boy Wonder's torso. He dodged it unsuccessfully and there he was wrapped limb to limb on the cold floor. I walked up to him smirking. "Sorry man, but not everyone has a backup pension plan to make it in life."

"Give back the scriptures X or I'll make sure your sentence is long and painful! You will not get away with this!" he growled twisting and turning on the floor. It was almost sad how much of a fish he resembled today and come on, would I really give it to him if he asked?

"Really? Cuz I sorta of am." I added a creepy mechanical chuckle that made me seem insane. Cool.

Robin started struggling even more as he attempted to free himself. His forehead had a prominent vein that was throbbing like crazy. Ew, my mood was just getting worse.

"Well, okay, so bye and tell the other kiddies I said hi." Two fingered salute and all, I pressed a random button on my belt and teleported out of the pastoral halls of the Jump City's most revered institute. I almost wish Raven was there too see my epic little tryst. Inwardly she'd get a kick out of it. You could tell the two birds had some natural tension going on.

I was in my apartment now in fact, and today the tan walls looked fantastic while everything inside was so charming. Set the mood right for every date I had.

I ripped the black and red skull mask off in an elegant finish.

Time to take a contemplative shower and you're not invited.

Wait, actually before you go, I might as well mention the bombass plan I've made to have my life set. It's also some unnecessary revenge.

I'm going to vandalize Teen Titan's tower. Yeah.

I don't even know how but it will happen.

In all honesty, I am thrill junkie and a coward. I'll definitely go do this whole thing but not without some limit. As soon as they'd enter I'd run for it. I wouldn't dare risk my ass for gloating time. Never.

Maybe I'll even leave Raven something noticeable. I don't really know what I could do to change our hero-villain relation without getting burnt. Again, I am the biggest coward you'll ever see.

Eh, just wait. I'll go along for the ride. Soon enough, like most things are with me, I'd get bored or she'd pull something.

Deep inside though, I know she'll get tired of me before I got tired of her.

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_Wow, Pete is such a chauvinistic asshole. What a disease. Perfect!_

_I sort of find myself relating to him though. We both have pretty severe commitment issues. At least I try to solve it!_

_Okay so review please and tell me if you have interest in such a fic. Don't hold back! Well actually, hold back enough so that I don't cry. I'm looking forward to at least a handful of 5-10 reviews so that I can update by this week. If not then, oh well. I'm honestly a grateful person. I will try to be committed to this._

_Oh, and no coffee shop meetings like most really good Red/Rae stories have. Seriously, I couldn't pull it off well. I'm reviewing places they could meet as of this moment. I'm sorry if I offended really passionate feminist readers. Don't worry, Petey's getting his just desserts soon. Guess who delivers it? Raven! And a surprise secret lover!!_

_1) Billy Liar was a movie that won BAFTAS. I like adding witty trivial pieces of knowledge._

_REVIEWWWW!!!!_

_Thanks :)_


	2. All Sex No Love

**Pas d'amour**

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**Chapter 2**: All Sex No Love

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own TT, Fight Club quotes, Moby songs, some of the book titles, or any of the anarchists I deem as anarchists mentioned. _

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I'll be the first to tell you, the lists of clinical issues I have are long.

First comes my commitment issues, second my insomnia, then my borderline personality disorder, and last my procrastination. I didn't ask for them at any point of my life. They didn't ask to be part of my life either. We sort of have an on and off relationship.

God, even that sounds insane.

I try not to let it show though, that I'm the most human person you'll ever see. Basically, I'm part of that generation of men raised by women (1). Except my mom was a little loose. Just a little.

Anyway, if someone did come to know, I'd be labeled that perverted neurotic guy who steals things. A title like that would create way too many hurdles and a certain pathetic ring. I especially would not like the many people I don't side with to know.

If the Titans knew I procrastinated, they'd be prepared for all my heists. Not that it would really help. Their asses would still be handed to them.

So I try to remain as inhuman and idealistic as I can. Whenever I fight Starfire, I rely heavily on what people expect of the standard cocky thief: flirting.

Except this flirting is designed to only be for the bolder and stupider of the girls as well as to piss that bolder and stupider girl's guy. Another win-win situation for me.

If I started uncharacteristically making a move on the more reclusive girl, people would be pointing and wondering. I'd start looking like some sensitive and emotional guy who lead a hard life and believed that Raven Roth of the Teen Titans would understand me. Plus, some freak would then mark me as a half-vampire, half-demon, and quarter-wolf (if that could happen) guy out for an equally hellish girlfriend.

That would shatter me because I never go after someone just because I fucking _understand_ them. It's ridiculous! I don't want to be the cause of that bridge of redemption to be built because then I'd be out of a job and a life!

It's pretty selfish and bitchy for me to say this, but I'm only looking out for myself. What else would you expect?

Due to this self-centered life I lead, that borderline personality disorder crap is the most dangerous thing I have. I could never be the role model for the accolades of kids out there or be the loving husband every girl wants. I can't even be a boyfriend for a day. I'm not the son people ideally want either. I'm the type of guy parents warn their kids not to hang with or date from the get go.

Because I just can't stick around and start caring.

Oh Raven, pretty little Raven. I hope first impressions warn you enough because I won't.

I'll take you away from everyone who loves you and you won't have the pride to ditch me like a bad habit.

Just like I can't.

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**Narrator**: With insomnia, nothing's real. Everything's far away, everything's a copy. _(Fight Club)_

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_(At X's Apartment)_

It's 3:52 in the morning.

I can't sleep.

I REALLY can't sleep.

There are a lot of empty cans of beers on the floor of my apartment. The tan walls have become bland and ugly. My place has lost its charm. I wouldn't dare put shame on myself if a girl came in right now.

I've begun the most severe stage of my insomnia and no sleeping pill will be washed down with beer anytime soon. The effort's become futile. I've even begun to talk like a smartass.

I don't know what to do and yet there are so many things I have to do. My ass is on the carpeted floor and my head is knelt against the cushioned sofa. I observe the things I'm wearing. They are as I mentioned before not impressive. Still, I take pride in not being a complete slob.

My coppery hair is messy in its own styled way. My gray eyes are dead and dull with a lost look I reserve only for myself. I am not smiling.

When I was in school, kids called me a pretty boy while the more intelligent adults said my face was very feminine.

It meant the same thing.

When I grew my confidence, my looks were the first thing I relied on. To make it anywhere in life, you need charm and a certain appearance. Without the other, you'd end up in the suburban life with a full package of permanent burdens.

No one likes a burden.

Oh my fucking god, I need to stop thinking.. I need to move and comply with actions.

I need to trash something! I was already smashed enough for this to be applicable! My pale hands were clenched into fists ready to be hurdled across steel surfaces. My feet were ready to run in synchronization. I was a live twitching man who couldn't stand the confines of his head.

Hurriedly, I got up and ran into my small bedroom to the closet. There the most precious thing I had ever stolen was sitting. In one motion, I grabbed the belt of the Red X suit and strapped it loosely onto my waist.

No time for a full identity. Tonight was not about making a mark.

I still had to be cautious of the 2nd life I lived though, so I grabbed a pair of black sunglasses off a desk. It was such a pesky task to be bounded to the thought of safety. Safety was the biggest burden I ever had.

Then I teleported to my destination. No time for the plan I had made.

Plans were no fun. No fun at all.

The tower was quiet. Not silent. A generator hummed as the extremely complicated design of the tower's main system was awake. I imagined the money that went into maintaining such an important landmark.

It made this act of utter anarchy even more brilliant.

I'd like to think the greatest anarchists of the world would be friends with me. Johnny Rotten and I would wreak mayhem onto our expensive hotel rooms. Mikhail Bakunin and I would feed the public with our charisma and create a revolution. Peter Kropotkin and me would lavishly spend time writing crap on our self-supported newspapers and distribute the most unlawful thoughts to our dedicated readers.

Even Raven would be the anarchist of my dream. We'd do every illegal thing in the book and then have wild hot sex. Demons do that thing right? It just better not get bestial. I'm not an animal person.

I am sooo drunk..

Ah, but back to the matter at hand. I was going to fucking TRASH this place up like a heroin shooter fucks at his sex parties. It would be everything they didn't expect and the most brilliant part would be that they couldn't do anything about it till it was over.

I had stuck to one part of my plan for this to happen. Getting Mad Mod to attack in exactly….two seconds.

_BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!_

I jumped three feet in the air. Jesus that was loud! And I wasn't the only one to think that.

Two doors away from me, the green changeling named Beastboy ran out of his room in a weary stance. He groaned, "Oh my god, who the hell works at this time! Are we the only ones who _sleep_?!" I quickly hid in the shadows. Didn't want to be handcuffed before the crime was committed, right?

Anyway, all the footsteps that belonged to this tower went out and about even, unfortunately, Raven's. It would've been pretty nice to do something special with her that involved a different approach.

Oh well. I'll leave something "special".

Across the hall I strained to hear Robin's barked orders. "It's Mad Mod. Cyborg head from the ground level with the T-car! Beastboy and Starfire, you guys fly overhead and hit him with everything you possibly can! I'll go directly towards him!" With that they barraged out the door with justice oozing out of their heads.

"_Oh, they deserve this,"_ I muttered in my head. Now with all of them out of the house I stretched my body in a very drunken way and cracked my neck.

"Let's find me a hammer." I started opening and closing doors like the madman I was in my search. I honestly couldn't just start trashing this fucking place without a domestically common weapon.

I stopped at a door too small and plain to hold a room. "I hope they have a broom closet. Please be the tidy little kids I always thought you were." I turned the knob and there was lady luck's blessing!

A toolbox!

I grabbed the first things I saw: an axe, a hammer, and a very enhanced chainsaw. I wonder what they needed that one for…

Since I needed to destroy the bigger objects first, I wasted no time in snatching the tricked out chainsaw into gear. I expected a loud and obnoxious sound to come out of it but double luck for me. That chainsaw was designed to be silent.

"I love robots, especially ones with human hearts and human needs."

I barraged into the whole freakin' wall with the chainsaw in hand, cutting up the plaster walls of the tower's first wall and breaking down steel doors that this chainsaw was designed to mess with.

In a matter of 10 minutes, I trashed the entire operations room without mercy. Every powered up machine I could find, I'd run the chainsaw through. Gamestations were destroyed, power generators were tarnished, and food was smeared on the walls. Even a toaster was limping, cracked open on the counter. So much money to flush down, such little time.

I then made it to each Titan's room, one by one.

Breaking down the statistics, you'll see that it took me a minute to fix up Robio's man cave. In the alien's room, I completely smeared the walls with a thick, brown liquid I knew was not paint. Cyborg's wonderful little world of sci-fi mechanisms and abnormal intelligence was reduced to frayed wires and faulty equipment.

Now Beastboy, he wasn't that hard to mess up. Half of the magic was already done. All I had to do was take out the trash (meaning the things he probably needed).

Speaking of needs, I am in front of my biggest need right now. Raven's room

You're probably all thinking I'm going to be biased and not trash it.

You're right.

Usually when you're trying to get a girl, you don't go on and mess up her stuff. And I know Raven sure likes her stuff.

"…"

Damn, did I just hear a shuffle of angel's feet? (2)

"…"

There it goes again.

No one was still here right? Robio had totally just said-

Oh Christ.

Oh no.

"_Cyborg head from the ground level with the T-car! Beastboy and Starfire, you guys fly overhead and hit him with everything you possibly can! I'll go directly towards him!"_

And what does Raven do? Raven isn't even mentioned!

I am screwed. I am screwed.

I let out a nasally sigh and then nervously ran a hand through my coppery hair. This was what I got for getting drunk without company. No one to tell me I _was_ drunk.

And here I am, chainsaw in hand, in a stance that was criminal all over.

Plans may not be fun, but they're still pretty helpful when they support that naggy bitch named safety!

"To go or not to go.." I thought. That inner turmoil I had could honestly not be seen from my outward appearance. Better to not let the prey see they were scarier than the predator.

She obviously wasn't in her room if that sound came from behind me..so where was she?

I procrastinated meeting her personally for so long that I couldn't think of what I could do. Maybe plans are fun _after_ they save your ass. By this time, she probably saw the number I did on the tower. She was probably read to call all her teammates back here to reprehend me. Unless..unless I was lucky enough that she wasn't coming from the main room of the building.

Maybe she was coming from the roof? A little session of mediation perhaps?

Either way, the only possible plan of action that could occur was for me to run right into her room which was definitely unlocked. Seeing no other conclusion, I did what would save me.

The doors hissed open extremely silently. I practically tiptoed inside and yelped when the door hissed closed again. Just in case some evil bird things were spying on my entrance, I hid in the shadows to be as discreet as possible.

Her room was interesting to say the least. So interesting that I felt underdressed for the occasion. The walls were a rich indigo color that suited the dark furniture lying around the room as well. Trinkets of very ethnic taste hung on small shelves of brass material. The comedy and tragedy masks made me raise a brow. She also had a very expansive library that covered one whole wall of the room. Every nook and cranny was filled with rustic books that seemed to be in unworldly languages. I wasn't too surprised though. She seemed like the book type of person. Still….

Rae-Rae might need me more than I thought since none of her little friends could melt the ice completely. Proof was in that bookshelf.

I quietly walked over to it and observed the contents I could decipher.

"Demonology and Modern Power, Pagan Rituals of the 20th Century, Crime & Punishment, 16th Edition of the Azarathian Rule, Healing From Within, The Church of Blood, Williamson Guide to Nuclear Warheads..odd..Religious Text of Mongolians, The Qur'an, Bible, Buddhist Scriptures, The Bhagdev Gita, Hebrew Bible..damn, I should start going to church more often." (3)

My hands stopped at a pure white book with a gold framing. It was the brightest thing I had seen in this room and seemed so out of place. Of course, as I am very curious, I was all ready to take it out of the bookshelf when I heard a familiar hiss. Out of instinct I jumped to hide myself in a dark and barren corner next to me.

Into the door stepped a very irritated Raven. Her purple eyes darted left to right suspiciously as she glanced around her room. The trademark scowl was as sexy as ever but I had bigger things to worry about. Like how I was going to hide from her aura sensing powers. Then again, my complete lack of concealment should've told her straight someone was there. So what was happening? Why didn't she call me out? I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Another thing was that she didn't seem to indicate that she saw the big boy mess I made.

God, things couldn't get weirder.

Hold up, they just got weirder.

Standing an inch away from Raven was a black haired man with cruelest blue eyes I had ever seen. He was as tall as me and had a face every girl in the world would lose their panties too. There was that snotty look to him and it got even more conceited when he started talking.

Suave, English accent and all, the pretty boy practically purred into her ear, "Sweet Raven.. the only ones here are you and I. Do not tell me the small amount of freedom you have given me will not be dedicated to us. Remember, you called for me, not I for you." He wrapped a hand slyly onto Raven's waist. She tensed and the scowl turned even more rigid.

But she didn't say anything which bothered me. There was that tingling sensation of envy in the back of my head, I can admit that. She didn't even kick his regal little ass for touching her.

IT was like she was numb and maybe not for the same reasons as me, the guy behind her turned a tad bit more aggressive. "What is it that you want Raven?" His grip tightened on her waist.

"I lost my powers." That was all she muttered before snatching herself off of him. "Go home Malchior.. Not even you can help me."

The Malchior guy had an amused smirk that could battle my own. He stepped in front of her and ran a finger down her neck to her hand.

He brought it to his own and whispered almost _sadly_, "As you wish. As you wish…" The conceitedness dimmed down to his true self. A needy, heartbroken, boy.

And then he disappeared like the mist does when the sun rises. Seriously, I blame this on being half-drunk and sleepy. It was unnatural.

Raven was left there in the entrance of her room. Her sadness emitted like the sharpest rays of early dawn. The glow of the hall lights behind her made her seem like an exaggerated sense of misery. Misery loves company..but am I that company? No.

I couldn't leave her anything. My conscience streamed in like waves of slowly salvaged guilt.

I felt shitty.

Really _shitty._

She resembled all the girls who were ripped from the world they had created to make them happy. The imaginary world where their hearts could never be stolen or broken.

How could I play with that?

Her sad, lonely figure reminded me of the countless scenes I and every other kid like me had been the cause of.

Could I play with her like this?

I had to leave. I had to think.

All sex no love.. it was the most boring of all.

I pressed the random button on my belt and ran out of there.

No regrets yet, just questions.

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_Here comes the conscience. It won't last though, remember that. He'll wake up and be back to his crappy little self. Then we'll have fun :) Oh, and I couldn't help but shove Malchior's freed ass into the story. It creates PLOT!_

_**(1) I vaguely remember Tyler Durden saying this in Fight Club. It stuck with me.**_

_**(2) Line from the really good song "Run On" by Moby.**_

_**(3) I made all the titles up except: Crime & Punishment, The Qur'an, Bible, Buddhist Scriptures, The Bhagdev Gita, and Hebrew Bible.**_

_So anyway,** review please**. I appreciate everyone who already did! Thank you and let's aim for **10** this time :)_


	3. Two Doors Across

**Pas d'amour**

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**Chapter 3**: Two Doors Across

_**Disclaimer**__**:** Don't own anything. Especially the TTs, Tricky's "Suffocated Love" & "Man Next Door" plus "Dissolved Girl" by Massive Attack which both have lyrics down below. Listen to them while reading. _

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**_(Raven)_**

When I walk, I don't know what to do with my hands.

That's all I can think of when I float into the Control Room with my barren, sullen expression. The feeling of flight does not change this thought. Even my cloak does not cover up the nervous and awkward splendor of my pale, translucent hands. No amount of blackened power will allow me to feel free of the thought.

If that was bad then, imagine a powerless me now.

This cloak hurts more than it helps.

I feel like I have something to hide when in all honesty, there is nothing left to tell. This cloak talks on its own lie after lie. It makes people think, wonder, and then base actions on it.

I am not a mystery.

I just prefer not to talk.

If I was in high school right now, I'd be the next blushing, bumbling girl with a drab voice but a very open mind. My extreme awkwardness is disguised as apathy.

The victims of this misguided thought are my hands. They don't know what do when 4 other hormonal teenagers are staring at me. They don't know what to do when evil-hearted people challenge them. They don't know what to do when millions of people thank them and their preceding actions.

_I _don't know what to do when Malchior slyly stares at me pretending I am an embodiment of perfection.

Like right now.

My powers have left me on some precarious journey their owner was not invited to. Instead I have been pushed into a needy state where I've surprisingly not turned into that blushing bumbling girl.

Malchior doesn't affect me, yet I cannot tell him that.

Something about a heartbroken dragon-man doesn't sit well with my emotions. So I let him try to rub me the wrong way. Yes, even in the physical sense.

It feels good to be on the other hand of unrequited love.

Gives you a sense of disgusting power…

I don't know if he loves me though and if he did I wouldn't know what to do next. Empathy would force me to sit near him and hear the beating of an aching dragon-man heart. I would then be smothered by man's biggest burden.

Guilt. (1)

I doubt though that his innocently pretty looks will allow him to swallow his pride and tell me his…feelings. Malchior would not stoop so low to then by washed away by a mere witch's indifference.

He instead has decided to be the annoying 2nd grader who tells the girl he likes that he likes her by kicking a ball in her face.

In this case, Malchior escapes from his prison twice and spares me no mercy. He then, in a very violent manner, makes it up by engaging me in a very unloving relationship based on carnal desire.

And I, knowing how wrong it is, can't seem to get away. I can't leave him and everyone silently knows that. Even the most impudent people in the tower. They don't question me because they think I have a heart wrenching answer.

I don't.

Malchior is equivalent to a toy for me, except I lack the characteristics of the slut designed to play with him.

Tenderly he opens the door of his apartment. His tall, almost lanky frame leans against the door. He sees me in my impish actuality, out of costume both mind and body. He betrays no interest on his part but the cruelty of his eyes dim down in the dull light.

I walk in one sad step at a time. My shoulders are hunched and my hands of course nervously intertwined. I act like this is okay when it obviously isn't for one of us.

We then proceed to talk in soft voices with only his granite kitchen counter to keep the other at bay. Malchior takes on most of the conversation. My words are empty and I wonder if I cause him pain with my monosyllabic replies. I also am wondering faintly if I should be nicer since I am the one who intrudes his home late at night.

Then I wonder, if it really bothered him wouldn't he tell me? His pride could never be mistaken for. I think about that for a minute or two and wait for the heavy stuff to come in.

Chit-chat isn't necessary but Malchior is an amazing speaker. However hollow his words are, it doesn't matter to anyone. The fact is that his voice is directed at you. That's flattery enough. The English accent, the rich excess of vocabulary, and the way he makes you appear a hundred times more beautiful than you are. This wise quality. My knees unfaithfully tremble as I realize why I was tricked by him in the first place.

Lust.

It's the only feeling I've ever had that doesn't technically make me feel that burden of guilt. Sure, I denied to myself those observations of the other sex I had when I was younger, but as you get older you stop scolding yourself. Then you transition into physical lust, a physical lust which leaves you on your knees unable to walk away.

My knees tonight have already belted out on me. I've begun to notice his approaches have been quicker by the day. His _needs _are being exclaimed into my mind.

"Are you cold Raven?" he asks with his own contemptuous grin placed perfectly on his face. He seems to have noticed my own lust fueled tremors. The pride he has in himself is glowing even before my answer.

"No." Lying is dreadfully fun. When something is easy, it must be fun.

He snorts and scans my face with a smirk. Like a robot, he locks onto some part of my face. I've begun to feel horribly insecure in front of him. Offhandedly he throws out a, "Really..? Hmm...I am."

A very faint blush on my face is the reply to that suggestive remark. Malchior has decided to saunter up to me. His one fairly pale arm slinks up from my own arm to my shoulder to tread up to my collarbone. It was achingly close to a place he was familiar with. The hand he has placed dangerously on my neck is cold and phantom like. He lacks the feelings I've always wanted to be directed at me and yet this chilling touch is amazing. He really wasn't kidding when he said he was cold.

My hands have decided to be someone else's as they've clenched and unclenched on their own accord. Back with Malchior, the decision he has made is to go slowly to his prize. One freed arm wraps around my waist and catches my clenched fist. He soothes the pain I've begun to feel and in the dark I realize how pathetic I must be. The insecurity I have is a tide of utter sin. I feel nothing inside and yet I try to play this odd part. I lie and betray what I feel.

His hands slink up to the "treat" before the prize. His hands always know what to do.

Hands around my throat, delicately placed.

I wonder if this replayed scene is the contemplation of murder. The torment I have caused him is enough for him to stay in this thought. He wants to kill me and that's a dream that could be the balm to his scratched pride.

It's not me who's come to him tonight.

It's never me.

It's him.

* * *

_**"She says she's mine, I know she lies.  
First, I scream, then I cry."** _

* * *

**_(X)_**

Guilt trip re-assessed, I think I'm fine now. I won't even dive deeper into what happened. Second thoughts are the worst things you can have.

Thankfully, there are solutions. Like vodka, gin, tonic, beer, and a very willing girlfriend.

Two hours after the ordeal I had in the tower, I'm standing in front of the door to my apartment. I couldn't manage to teleport inside, preferring to walk up several flights of stairs in stoned solitude. For some reason, as I was on the 3rd floor, a thought hit me.

Pretty boy all up on Raven was a tad familiar. I tend to forget people easily, true, but the Malchior guy was somehow recognizable. I don't remember ever hearing his voice or seeing his face but there is that small touch of nostalgia. No memory attached or anything, but his presence was faintly connected to my own. Oh, but if I did know him, I wouldn't mind punching his face once or twice. He totally ruined the gutsy plan I had for the Titan's newly furnished tower. Apparently he mentioned to Raven a certain chainsaw oddly on the floor.

She called Robio apparently since a couple of people I knew were remarking on the utterly discontinued fight with Mad Mod and the Titans at a bar.

Whatever. When I reached the next floor my thoughts on Raven and Malchior disappeared.

As I mentioned before, I'm standing in front of my door, fishing out keys to the lock. I can't help but chuckle at this random realization that I've never really seen my neighbor.

Well he/she isn't really my neighbor I guess. The apartment next to mine has been vacant for a year for no reason and the one directly in front is a storage room. So the only 'neighbor' I have is the one 2 doors across of mine.

I wake up too early and sleep too late to know who that person is. Consider the relationship cold and dead. Besides, I think my neighbor here is a bit of a recluse. Never seen him/her out and about. The only time I've heard his/her's door hiss open is at ungodly hours. Even for me.

Like right about now would be the perfect time for this guy/girl to walk out and yell, "Hey stranger!" or just ignore me and do whatever the crap he/she does. This is probably smoking or making way for another stranger to enter into his/her humble abode.

Damn, where are my keys? My pockets aren't even that damned big.

Yeah but anyway, I have heard suspicious company coming from that room, apartment 2167, and they were based on sounds only. The loudest sound I heard was a couple of months ago. I remember being half-awake with a cigarette in my fingers and lying on my ugly sofa. My eyes were half closed and I was absorbing a late night indie flick. The choppy sequences were alluring and I was out of it.

And then, the faintest of groans passed through my ears.

At first I thought it was the movie but then again, who hears a groan like that in a _hospital _ward? With such pleasure? No one was in my apartment except me, pretty sure about that. I could've left the mystery as it was since such a _trivial_ thing was beyond me. For some reason though, curiosity peaked and I shuffled out of my apartment to stand at the threshold of the door. Immediately I looked across the hall, 2 doors down. Peculiar. Very peculiar.

A female groan, totally, and at 3 in the morning? Ooh, mystery neighbors never cease to amaze me.

"Ah! Found you damn things." The keys were now securely in my hand.

But anyway, after that I tried to catch my neighbor in conversation. Unfortunately, that damn bastard either has a teleportation method or just doesn't get out. I never met him/her.

I never see anyone in our hallways either. It bugs the hell out of me but I guess I should cherish the privacy people die to get. Anyway, I had opened my door now and lazily went in one hand turning on the lights.

"What to do. What to do," I muttered.

My lights then flickered for a second in a very eerie way. Soon enough there goes out all of them. It was like a bad omen or a foreshadowing. I don't need a foreshadowing at all. Man's greatest invention left me in a blackout.

Great.

* * *

**"**_**Say, say my name,  
I need a little love to ease the pain." **_

**

* * *

**

_**(Raven)**_

"I see your powers are back."

Malchior in his pride could never be gentle and sweet with me. It cut me that even when I gave him the pleasure he lusted and lunged after; he would still never bother to care. Cheap, verbal attacks. I've begun to get bored of them.

We're both in this for something. Something the other lacks. He comes for the pleasure, I come for my ego.

All sex no love makes me feel every bit the antagonist.

At least Malchior shows his need is human. My own are so mechanical. So mechanical that all I can see are benefits.

I thought the loss of my powers would be better taken cared of if I went to him as he called. I really never knew that being fucked out of my head like every other time would bring back my most prized possession. Here I am, wrapped under the bedsheets I've grown accustomed to, in a stiff embrace with him. His cruel eyes don't stare at my own. They're somewhere on my face again.

The excitement wore off and I'm wondering why exactly I come back. We're not worth the passion. He's fully clothed, while I'm naked as the day I was born. The stare irks me as much as my lack of response irks him. After the sex, Malchior always dresses but never lets me. A pet peeve perhaps and I don't want to ask why.

A couple of dull seconds later I question him, "Do you have any candles?" The guilt of causing this blackout bothers me. The hero instincts tell me to make sure the building's occupants are safe.

"No." he said. Stoically, I get out of his bed. If the world saw me now, they'd notice the strange shame written on my face. Malchior doesn't though, and he kisses one of my hands. Not in a polite manner.

The sheets are wrapped around me and I maneuver around the bedroom grabbing the shirt and jeans I walked in here with.

Malchior shifted in the bed to a sleeping position. He mumbled, "Are you going home?"

I pulled my black shirt over my torso. The coldness of the apartment hits me hard. "Yes." Dark blue jeans were on me as well now. "I'll get candles from your neighbor."

Sleep had not escaped him as he mumbled something incoherently.

"What?"

He turned and in a louder voice said, "Two doors across. The ones next to me and in front are either vacant or storage."

"Oh." It surprised me he knew anything about his neighbors. Malchior was as reclusive as I was. "Thank you."

A nod.

This was our way of saying goodbye: genuine thank you-s. It was the most civil part of this "relationship" we had. The only thing we ever truly meant to say to each other when we said it.

I turned to leave and treaded across the icy plateau of hardwood floor to make my way to his door. There was no point in turning back to smile or something. He wouldn't appreciate it. My strength, my character, they attracted him alright, but they could never add up to worth. I gripped the doorknob as another shiver ran through my body. A warning perhaps? I don't do shivers one after the other.

A creak ran through the living-room and I was gone from his terrible, terrible gaze. The thought of candles came back to me. It was a good idea to get some just to make it through such a shady looking hallway. For some reason, the full extent of my powers hadn't come back. I could break things with a single thought of course and empathy wasn't a problem anymore, but teleporting and floating hadn't come. I was still as blind as a normal human being too. Now I had to _walk _back to the tower at 3 in the morning.

"Wonderful." I muttered under my breath. An urge to blow my bangs out of my face followed.

Two doors across I went and stationed myself to knock as nicely as I could. I really didn't feel like disturbing someone's sleep no matter how dark this hallway looked. And then to have them possibly recognize me would be worse.

Oh look it's Raven, a TEEN TITAN. I better hide my pot and my not medicated prescriptions before she arrests my ass. Oh, she just wants a candle? Uh huh, and I'm a monkey.

Uncharacteristic thoughts like this occur in my head sometimes. I don't know how to get rid of them. I hope they're never heard out loud because then my icy little reputation would be ruined.

OH, Raven has a sense of humor?! Wonder when that happened.

But I'm going off on an unnecessary tangent. I need a candle before sunrise and I need to get home.

_**KNOCK KNOCK**_

You could hear a shuffle from the other end of the door. I raised an eyebrow. _Someone's up this late? _

Whoever it was, he opened the door with the same expression as me. A round white candle was in his hand and he peered down at me quizzically and blinked. The confusion turned into some form of shock in a flash too quick for me to evaluate. His eyebrows shot up and he melted into something the world is familiar with:

The overly kind, charming neighbor.

A slow, possibly dangerous, grin swept over his face and a funny glint erupted in his gray eyes. "Well, hello stranger. What can I do for you at," he glanced at his watch. "3:58 in the morning?" Of all the doors to knock, I had to end up with an insomniac jackass.

I wanted to scoff in his face but a candle was more appealing. "Uh, sorry. I needed a candle."

"Candle?" he blinked again. Probably just woke up or was getting there. Or maybe he was a pothead.

"Yeah, candle." I pointed at the one in his hand to state the obvious.

He shot upright. "Oh! Candle!" He nervously chuckled. "Sorry, sorry. I'm not used to visitors this late at night."

"Me either..." I muttered.

I think he heard because his grin got even cheekier. "Hehe, well I've got extra candles in a cabinet somewhere so this might take a minute or two." He turned to go inside and yelled back at me, "Feel free to step inside!"

The heater was on in his apartment.

Tempting.

My mother never did tell me about the danger a girl could get in by accepting invitations inside young men's apartments. Especially when the hallway was freezing her to death and salvation was two steps. I figured she had a first hand experience on things like that.

Oh well. I stepped inside.

* * *

**_"There is a man that live next door_**

**_In my neighborhood, in my neighborhood_**

**_And he gets me down..."_**

* * *

_Ha, finished! Sorry it took so long. I had an endless volunteering schedule. Now, I hope everyone reading is smart enough to realize who exactly this jackass guy two doors across is. _

**(1) So, see how Raven & X are different? They share the ideas of a burden in their lives but those two burdens are very different. **

_Thanks for the reviews you horribly nice people. Don't forget to do so again!_


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